Last Monday organic chemistry professor Dr. Lithoovenstein had his secret porn stash discovered when his power point presentation for his lecture on carboxyl amyl acids failed. Instead of a slide showing electron orbital hybridization‚ students in the Earth Sciences auditorium were presented with a screen showing a woman being penetrated simultaneously by three different men.
“So yeah‚ like‚ I was just trying to copy down the notes from the last screen on methanosilicate…something or other‚ when like‚ this shot of Anabelle Chong comes up‚ and we’re all like ‘whoa‚ dude!'” said third year chemistry major Jeff Canstellana. “But like‚ nobody said anything‚ we just let him keep going on about the valence electrons and all that shit‚ ’cause like‚ nobody was about to tell him and let him get rid of it. I mean‚ fuck‚ it was like 4:30 that day‚ and nobody was up for learning more chemistry.”
Dr. Lithoovenstein continued his lecture‚ unaware that his presentation had gone awry. The pornographic video of Ms. Chong’s “The World’s Greatest Gang Bang” continued to play onscreen for a further two and a half minutes‚ report students‚ until second year student Jane Stanton quietly approached the professor and informed him of the mix up. Dr. Lithoovenstein‚ after seeing the screen‚ tried to fix the situation with no success.
“So at this point we fucking lost it‚” said third year student Chad Bewicks. “I mean‚ there’s the prof you nailed you with a fucking C minus on your last lab report for not indicating which solvents you used‚ and there he is up on stage frantically trying to hide the fact that he’s a big perv. Fucking genius.”
After being unable to close the program‚ Dr. Lithoovenstein cut the power to his lap top computer. He reportedly left the auditorium immediately afterwards and did not stay to answer students questions as he normally does.
“Yeah‚ that was totally lame of him. I was all ready to ask him if what we had observed was an endothermic or exothermic reaction‚ and which of the three agents was the primary force generating her reaction‚ but buddy totally bailed on us‚” said Canstellana. “That was so not cool.”
Dr. Lithoovenstein was unavailable for comment.